Learning to Say Goodbye

By: Dawn Irwin 

I’m sitting in the quiet of my classroom. My school. The place I’ve poured every ounce of my heart and soul into. And, somehow, I have to find a way to say goodbye. 

I honestly thought this day would never be. Or, if it was, I thought it would happen decades from now when I’m old and ready to slow down and step back. And yet, here I am, only four years into a dream that has ended too soon. 

I’ve learned so much on this journey. I fought with everything I had to open Growing With Wonder. Searching for a home for our school took almost two years. When we finally found the right location, my business partner left. Then, the pandemic hit. Suddenly, I was faced with a whole new and terrifying set of challenges. This was immediately followed by the struggles of staying open while trying to keep everyone - educators and families alike - safe and well cared for. 

And, always on top of these obstacles, was the stark reality of being chronically understaffed due to my inability to provide my educators with the pay and benefits they deserved. As a one classroom school there was never enough money to compensate myself or my teachers what was needed to provide for our own families. So, one by one, my incredibly talented educators had to find other jobs that could support them and their families in ways my small school/business simply couldn’t. Hiring new educators was absolutely impossible for the same reasons my staff couldn’t stay. Seeing the writing on the wall, I realized keeping Growing With Wonder open wasn’t sustainable. 

So, here I sit in my empty classroom on our last full day of school doing my best to learn the same lesson I’m teaching my students for the very last time. 

Goodbyes usually feel hard, scary, and heartbreaking. Whether it’s supporting a child through drop off in the morning, celebrating a kiddo graduating preschool, or helping a family process a long distance move, knowing something is at its end is extremely challenging for a student to process. It’s our job as their caregiver to support them through the big emotions that bubble up while simultaneously helping them learn that beauty, excitement, and joy can be found on the other side of that goodbye. The nuance that lives within these transitions shows children that the ending of a chapter allows them to start a new one filled with infinite possibilities, novel experiences, and profound connections with the world. Educators are some of the privileged few that have the honor of walking with our students as they open their eyes and hearts to the wonder and magic of new beginnings and learn to cherish the bittersweet taste of letting go. 

As I’ve found throughout my teaching career, here I am trying to learn and embrace the same principles I am teaching my students - Goodbyes are never easy. Letting go always hurts. Feeling your feelings is an important part of the process. When you’re ready, you can find joy, beauty, magic, wonder, and love waiting for you on the other side. And, someone will always be there to walk beside you until you reach the next destination. 

I’m so grateful for this lesson and all the others I’ve learned through and with this wonderful, unique, and special little school we built together. I will miss spending my days growing, learning, laughing, and loving this amazing community. As much as I don’t want to close this precious place, I know it’s time. And, just like I have for over a decade, I will walk down this path with my students learning right along with them that there is beauty in the nuance of goodbye and hope in the fabric of new beginnings.